Oh My Cheese!
by Destiny Dingle
Summary: Sequel to The work forced. Daria Spends a lot of time deciding between Trent and Tom (cliche I know). a disease breaks out in lawndale.


Okay Disclaimer time... I don't own Daria or its characters. I also don't have anything to do with MTV, The simpsons, Friends, The sixth sense, Chuck-E-cheese, or the Princess bride. And I'd like to say that I have no problems with Doctors and Cops but I'd imagine the ones in Lawndale to be as incompetent as I've written them to be.   
  
I'd also like to say that This is the sequel to "The work forced" and by definition sequels suck, plus they haven't played Daria on TV for weeks and you don't get much feel for the characters by watching a tape with Fizz Ed on it over and over again so I didn't bother. Can you believe it I actually took the time to make excuses for my work? I hope you like it and I'm sorry for taking forever to write it but as you can tell it's wicked long. Please keep reading after the first part it gets better *crosses fingers* I promise.  
Enjoy!  
  
  
  
(open Daria arrives at Janes house after her date. Tom drives off with a scowl on his face. She walks into the living room. Trent sitting on the floor playing his guitar.)  
Trent: (looks up at Daria) crap (he looks down at his guitar)  
Daria:(sits next to him) we should talk  
Trent: why bother? (a tear rolls down his cheek) you love Tom  
Daria: Trent I broke up with Tom (Trent looks up. Daria wipes away his tears) I love you  
(They embrace and passionately kiss and while kissing make their way to Trent's room. She takes off his shirt while kissing revealing a lot of muscles. They lay on the bed and then... Trent warps into a hispanic guy and Daria warps into a blonde chick. the camera zooms out revealing that this scene is on the TV.)  
Trent: that's enough of this crap (he clicks the TV off)  
Jane: (grabs at the remote) no Trent! (he holds it above her head) there are no reruns in soap operas, and oooh Eduardo just took off his shirt (she bites her bottom lip. Then Daria walks in)  
Trent:(sees Daria) whatever (he throws the remote at Jane and rushes to his room)  
Daria: Jane... can we...uh.. go for a walk er something  
Jane: not now my soap is on  
Daria:(pause) uh Jane...  
Jane: what?  
Daria: seriously...  
  
(cut to a hospital in Lawndale. Jodie and Brittany walking down the hallway in the pink candy striper outfits)  
Brittany: I'm glad that I volunteered for this. Candy Stripping is so much fun!  
Jodie: I told you it would be. (pause) did you say candy stripping?  
(pan to two doctors)  
Doctor1: my research shows that this disease has not been classified in this area  
Doctor2: look what its doing to those poor boys (camera pans to Joey Jeffy and Jamie covered in red spots. Brittany and Jodie are fluffing pillows and making the boys comfortable)  
Doctor1: you know what we'll have to do...  
(Doctor2 looks shocked and Doctor1 nods)  
Doctor1:(close up on Doctor1's mouth. his voice is echoed) Quarantine Lawndale.  
Nurse: It just looks like chicken pox to me  
Doctor1: chicken pox? you see this is why I'm the doctor and you're the nurse (The nurse frowns. Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie are scratching)  
Nurse: Don't scratch, it'll only make it worse.  
(Brittany leaves and calls someone on a pay phone)  
Brittany: hi Kevie you'll never guess what's happened! Joey, Jeffy, and uh the other one are really sick and wont be able to play in the big game (a faint scream is heard through the phone. Brittany pulls the phone away from her ear until the screaming stops)  
  
(cut to Jane and Daria walking outside somewhere)  
Jane: (jokingly) Dammit Daria you didn't steal my boyfriend just to leave him for Trent. (She laughs)  
Daria: This isn't funny (her eyes narrow) and I wasn't planning on leaving Tom for Trent. I don't know what I'm gonna do.  
Jane: Things are gonna be really awkward between you and my brother (Daria looks upset) well more now than usual (Daria scowls)  
Daria: I'm kinda hoping he avoids me  
Jane:(stops walking) why would he do that?  
Daria:(also stops walking) well if the girl you liked knew you liked her and didn't like you back wouldn't you pass up the chance to be embarrassed and awkward by hanging around her?  
Jane: First of all Daria...I'm straight. I guess I do give off gay vibes. Second, you obviously dont know my brother very well if you think he'd do that. Even if he does that I'm making you two talk this out.  
Daria: (looks down) crap  
Jane:(smiles) thats the spirit  
Daria: do you think I can have time to sort out my feelings before you handcuff us together  
Jane: sure thing, take all the time in the world  
Daria: thanks (they start walking again)  
Jane: Daria...  
Daria: yeh?  
Jane: I don't want you doin this too long to Trent and Tom so maybe aim for a week  
Daria: a week seems fair... until I've run out of time and panic  
Jane: hells yeah, thats just like me and projects (smiles)  
(cut to Trent and Jesse talking in Trent's basement)  
Jesse: you can't run away from her forever  
Trent: maybe she'll avoid me like I'm diseased  
Jesse: why would she do that?  
Trent: c'mon Jess, if you found out a guy liked you who was just a friend, wouldn't you want to avoid him in order to not feel guilty er something  
Jesse: nah I'd just say "sorry I don't swing that way so lets just stay friends"  
Trent:(sarcastically) Thanks  
Jesse: anytime (the sound of a door creaking open then footsteps is heard overhead) Jane's home  
Trent: I wonder what Daria told her. Probably something in the range of "what a loser your brother is"  
Jane: actually she was very nice about it... (camera pans to jane at the top of the stairs. She walks down the stairs) ...and she doesn't want you to say anything to Tom while she's deciding.  
Trent: deciding what?  
Jesse: (shakes head) and people think I'm dumb  
Trent: (pause) you mean she likes me back? (Jesse and Jane nod) Why? I'm such a loser.  
Jane: Damned if I know (Jesse gives her a look)... but she really does like you  
Trent: What about Tom?  
Jane: Yeah well.. she kinda really likes Tom too  
Trent: So what do I do now? Try to win her over?  
Jane: now that wouldn't be fair since he knows nothing about it  
(Jane smirks, Trent smirks, Jesse looks blank then smirks)  
Trent: So what's her favorite type of flower? (They all laugh evilly for a while until Jane cuts them off)  
Jane: I'm not telling, I want whats best for Daria even if that means being with Tom  
Trent: I guess you're right  
Jane: Of course I'm right I'm always right (she smirks) anyways me and Daria are vacationing for a week while she decides.  
  
(cut to the Fashion club walking through a mall)  
Quinn: Did you hear that Joey, Jeffy, and um... who's the last one?  
Tiffany: Jamal?  
Stacey: James?  
Sandi: Jeremy?  
Quinn: Whatev... well they're all in the hospital. (Stacey, Sandi, and Tiffany gasp)  
Stacey: oh my god!  
Sandi: I hope its not contagious  
Tiffany: eww I hate those hospital outfits  
Sandi: I know what you mean  
Quinn: but what can we do?  
Stacey: besides avoid them like the plague  
Tiffany: what if they're plagued?  
Sandi: eww Stacey why did you have to bring that up  
Stacey: eep  
  
(cut to Daria and Jane in a car, Daria's driving so lets assume that this is a Morgandorffer car)  
Daria: thanks for coming on this trip with me  
Jane: anything to skip a week of school (pause) plus there's the whole you needing time away from Lawndale to think thing and I wanna help like a good friend (Daria and Jane smile)why bother to leave lawndale though?  
Daria: I'd see Trent and Tom everywhere and everything would remind me of them and I want nothing like that to sway my decision.  
Jane: And that's just what you'd be seeing with your eyes open imagine what or who you'd see with your eyes closed  
Daria: I'll have to try that  
Jane: (puts her hands forward as if she 's about to grab the steering wheel) how about when you're not driving  
Daria: I'm not stu-hey! (the car slows down and stops there are police cars blocking the road. Daria rolls down her window)  
Police officer: I'm sorry miss, you'll have to turn around  
Jane: (fake coughs) pig  
Police officer: (angrily) what?  
Daria: why? whats wrong?  
Jane: hey Daria do you have a cough drop (to police officer) I have a cold (fake coughs) pig (Daria and the Police officer glare at Jane)  
Police officer: Lawndale's been quarantined  
Jane and Daria: what?  
Police officer: apparently there's an epidemic er something, I don't know I'm not one for medicine  
Jane: you mean we're stuck here?  
Police officer: 'Fraid so  
(Daria bangs her head on the steering wheel)  
  
(cut to the Fashion club in Quinn's room in a frenzy... or at least as much of a frenzy they can get in... ok basically they're sitting around and complaining worriedly)  
Tiffany: oh this is so terrible  
Sandi: definitely. oh my god what if they die?  
Quinn: (more sad than in a panic) that couldn't happen right  
Stacey: if it did happen then no doubt the author of this fan fiction would put it in her summary so that more people would read it or if this were an MTV episode they'd make promotions like "someone's gonna die tonight" to boost ratings  
(everyone stares at her for a while)  
Quinn: what are you talking about  
Stacey: just how terrible it'd be if they died  
Tiffany: yeah what if its catchy  
Sandi: if it is contagious Quinn must have it because they're always hanging all over her  
(Tiffany, Stacey, and Sandi inch away from Quinn.)  
Quinn: no! Its not true! (looks for support then drops her head in defeat)  
Sandi: well we really must be going now  
(they get up to leave)  
Stacey:call me (they leave. Just then the phone rings. Quinn picks it up)  
Quinn: (sadly) hello? (split screen)  
Tom: can I talk to Daria  
Quinn: she's at her little friend, Jane's house  
Tom: (as Quinn's hanging up) oh ok thanks (single screen on Tom, dial tone) Bye. (he dials another number. Trent's duck phone rings. Trent struggles to sit up and picks it up)  
Trent:(thinking) Daria? (split screen, out loud) huh?  
Tom: hi, uh is Daria there by any chance?  
Trent:(realizing who is on the phone his eyes become intense) no, her and Janey are out of town (he hangs up. Full screen on Tom again)  
Tom: (to himself) Jesus, doesn't anyone say goodbye anymore? when are they coming back Trent, I'm sorry I woke you up Trent, Gee Quinn you sound sad are you ok? but no...they just hang up and don't even say goodbye  
  
(cut to Daria and Jane driving home)  
Jane: so now where are we gonna go?  
Daria: home. I can't go to your house for obvious reasons, so I Have no where else to go.  
Jane: can we still skip school  
Daria: no  
Jane: Dammit! I was promised a vacation! hey can I live at your house for a week  
Daria: why would you want to do that?  
Jane: 'cause you have the pig skin channel. No 'cause I was promised a vacation spammit! away from my house, away from my brother, away from the thing growing in the tupperware container in the fridge, just to get away.  
Daria: spammit?  
  
(cut to Jodie and Brittany at the hospital serving hospital food to Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie who are still scratching)  
Jodie: They'll quarantine Lawndale for this disease but we still have to bring them dinner in bed  
Brittany: Yeah! this isn't fair!  
Jodie: you said it  
Brittany: why can't we leave Lawndale?  
Jodie: the doctors dont' want the disease spreading.  
Brittany: then why would they put us in a room with them  
Jodie: good question  
Brittany: It's ok though I've already had the chicken pox  
Jodie: me too, I hope the doctors realize it's the chicken pox  
Brittany: can't we just tell them?  
Jodie: they wouldn't listen  
Brittany: what if they test its DNA? could they do that?  
(Pan to Doctor 1 listening in)  
  
(cut to Daria and Jane in Daria's room. Daria is sitting on her bed while Jane is searching underneath it)  
Daria: what're you doing?  
Jane: you've got some neat stuff under here  
Daria: I hate this stupid form of entertainment which we call life  
Jane: all that just from me looking under your bed? ooh look a connecticut quarter can I keep it?  
Daria: no, I meant that I've never had a guy interested in me before and now I'm torn between two  
Jane: so I can't keep it? (Daria glares) okay, okay, I was listening, and you lie. Upchuck has always been interested in you. (they both shudder)  
Daria: don't remind me  
Jane: close your eyes what do you see  
Daria: (closes her eyes) black  
Jane: (picks up a flashlight from under the bed) ok... (she shine the light on Daria's eyes) now what do you see  
Daria: red  
Jane: (turns off the flashlight) ah the color of love (sighs)  
Daria: (opens eyes) this isn't gonna work  
Jane: wait.. there's more cheesy TV and movie things we can do  
(cut to them in a dark Daria's room lit by a single candle)  
Jane: ok I saw this on the simpsons. If you let the wax drip into the water it will take the shape of something to do with your husband's job  
Daria: hows that gonna help?  
Jane: if its a guitar or the golden arches you should pick Trent  
Daria: This isn't gonna work (she pours the wax into a bowl of water)  
Jane: what is it?  
Daria:a squiggle  
Jane: you're never getting married heh  
(cut to Daria and Jane with a ouija board in the same room with a lot of lit candles)  
Jane: who should Daria date? (the thingy moves to the letter T) are you pushing it  
Daria: I think since we're touching it so lightly and carefully that our fingers tremble and push it  
Jane: or your subconscious is pushing it to where you want it to go (the thingy that they're touching moves to the letters Jane says) ok its on T-R (Janes glowing, Daria's smirking) Y?- A-G-A-I-N-J-A-N-E... hey!  
Daria: you were right I was pushing it.  
(cut to them in a well lit Daria's room with a magic 8-ball. Jane shakes it)  
Jane: should Daria date Trent or Tom? (she turns it over and reads) "yes definitely". dammit! Should Daria date Trent? (she shakes it, turns it over, and reads) "better not tell you now" (angrily) how about now you bastard? (she shakes it) same question (she turns it over and reads) "Try again later"? grr (Daria smiles)  
(cut to them in Daria's room the 8-ball is in a zipperlock bag in the garbage bleeding purple juice)  
Daria: wow, all that soul searchin done tuckered me out  
Jane: and we aren't any closer to finding who you're gonna leave on the side of the road like a smushed squirrel with a tire imprint on its stomach  
Daria: (sarcastically) nice mental image before I dream.  
Jane: speaking of, tell me your dreams, it might reveal something.  
  
(cut to Sandi stumbling around a hallway in the dark in her night clothes. She turns on a light in a bathroom. She stumbles into the bathroom and closes the door. Moments later a flush is heard. The camera is now watching her wash her hands from her perspective. She looks up into the mirror and sees red dots on her face. A high pitched scream follows.)  
  
(cut to morning, Daria and Jane are sleeping. Daria's alarm goes off. Jane wakes up and frantically pushes all the buttons. Daria turns it off.)  
Jane: geez you wake up earlier than I do to go running (she goes back under her blankets)  
Daria: do you honestly want to wait until Quinn gets out of the bathroom?  
Jane: ugh (she wobbles her way to a standing position) I'm up, I'm up. (She puts on some music. Silver Chair's emotion sickness to be exact) so what'd ya dream?  
Daria: I was a squirrel and cars kept trying to hit me (Jane snickers)  
(Quinn comes running in with her hair messed up and in her night clothes)  
Quinn: Turn that music off or down. Don't you know school is canceled 'cause that stupid disease spread er something. I need my rest so I can be healthy and not catch it! (she leaves)  
Jane: she's even crankier in the morning...(sarcastically) who knew? (she lies back down) I'm down, I'm down wake me up at lunch time er whatever  
(Daria leaves the room. The music is still going and Daniel Johns yells "Get up! Get up!" Jane turns the music off then lays down again.)  
  
(cut to Daria watching sick sad world in the living room later. She looks bored. Quinn comes down stairs)  
Quinn: whatcha-watchin?  
Daria: TV  
Quinn: are you ok?  
Daria:(sighs) Is it that obvious?  
Quinn: that you're ok?  
Daria: That I'm not ok?  
Quinn: Oh, no Daria, I was just fishing for an "are you ok?" back.  
Daria: oh... Are you ok?  
Quinn: No! Joey, Jeffy, and Jam...Jam... er I dunno the other one.  
Daria: Jamie?  
Quinn: his name is Jamie? Oh I feel so bad for not remembering now. (pause)  
Daria: what about them?  
Quinn: what? oh yeah... Well they're the ones who are sick and since they hang around me I'm probably going to get sick.  
Daria: oh  
Quinn: well?  
Daria: well what?  
Quinn: no advice (jokingly) and you call yourself the misery chick (Daria smiles slightly)  
Daria: Well...I'm going to guess that since it has spread it would have spread to you first considering they never leave you alone, but it didn't. So I'm gonna guess that you're off the hook.  
Quinn: thanks (she sees Jane and leaves)  
Jane:(enters) going soft, softy?  
Daria:(frowns) I hate you  
Jane: so whats to eat?  
  
(cut to Brittany and Jodie at the hospital)  
Brittany: that was sure nice of those doctors to listen to us and stuff even if they already thought of it themselves. Oh I can't wait for the results  
Jodie: but in the meantime this disease is spreading (they serve lunches to Sandi, Tiffany, and Upchuck who are scratching)  
Sandi: this is so gross  
Tiffany: ewww polka dots  
Upchuck: this is all because that goth chick put a curse on me. Why did I Have to be flawed with the ability to turn heads?  
Sandi: well if we're here Stacey and Quinn must be sick too!  
(cut to Stacey at home doing karate moves in front of a mirror while listening to a headphone set)  
(cut back to the hospital room)  
Tiffany: (pokes at food) what's wrong with this turkey?  
Upchuck: a room full of women and all I can do is scratch myself. Ugh!  
  
(cut to Daria and Jane in the pizza place eating pizza of course)  
Jane: pepperoni or mushroom  
Daria: both  
Jane: Trent or Tom (Daria glares) You can't say both. That'd cause me to have a disturbing mental image. (Jane cringes)  
Daria: I can't believe they canceled school and quarantined us.  
Jane: I was just thinking how great it was that they canceled school  
Daria: (sarcastically) I'm psychic  
Jane: (eyes widening) great idea  
(cut to Daria and Jane sitting on a couch in Daria's living room. Jane is flipping through channels)  
Jane: geez they always have psychic commercials on when I'm watching TV (Daria rolls her eyes) aha here's one (she grabs a pen and paper and copies down a number. Then she picks up the phone, dials, and hands it to Daria)  
Daria: (listens for a while) oh no... (she hangs up) you called the Jamaican woman?  
Jane: (laughs) what'd she say that made you hang up?  
Daria: (sarcastically)the scariest word I've ever heard... "hello"  
Jane: I don't suppose you're gonna try that again?  
Daria: no way  
Jane: (sighs) ok (she takes another piece of paper and writes out the words "True" and "Love" vertically and begins writing down Daria's name.)  
Daria: What're you doing?  
Jane: first and last names only (she numbers, calculating in her head) I'm counting how many t-r-u-e-l-o and v's are in your names and whichever number is larger is your true love  
Daria: oh God no. Quinn used to play that game all the time... when she was 10.  
Jane: I'm running out of ideas. Ooooh Trent Lane, 106, Tom sloane, 77.  
Daria: that doesn't mean anything  
Jane: its a 29 point difference.   
Daria: or you could've made it 16 and 14 and it would've only been a 2 point difference.   
Jane: But Trent is still the larger number  
Daria: (sarcastically) You're right. I'm going to give up on Tom and start my new life with Trent. Thanks Jane, your playground numbers game has been an inspiration.  
  
(cut to Quinn on the phone)  
Quinn: are you for real? (pause) Sandi and Tiffany have been infected?(pause) I know, I wouldn't be caught dead in one of those hospital gowns! I guess we'll have to have the fashion club meeting without them. (pause) You're right it wouldn't be much of a meeting. We should just go shopping or see a movie. (squeaking is heard through the phone) great (pause) oh you're busy doing what today? (pause, happily) Oh, well we can get a manicure together and then see a movie tomorrow. (more squeaking is heard)   
  
(cut to Jane answering a doorbell. The door opens and an Asian guy is on the other end with Chinese food)  
Jane: thanks (she pays him, shuts the door and brings it into the kitchen)  
Daria: Is the fortune cookie gonna help me?  
Jane: No, I was hungry, and I'm not partial to frozen lasagna.  
Daria: Did ya get eggrolls? (Jane nodds)  
(After they've eaten Daria grabs a fortune cookie)  
Daria: If this thing is gonna impart wisdom I'm eating chinese more often. (she opens it) I'm never eating Chinese again  
Jane: What's it say?  
Daria: (reads it outloud) "Don't worry the answers will come to you eventually"  
Jane: Hey it says how to say meatloaf in chinese. Oh I have an idea!  
Daria: Meatloaf gave you an idea?  
Jane: no (she grabs two fortunes and writes Trent on one and Tom on the other one. She then puts them behind her back and passes them between her hands.) Okay pick a hand.  
Daria: (almost scoldingly) Jane...  
Jane: What? I'm out of ideas. Just pick for fun.  
Daria: Okay that one. (She points to Jane's left hand. Jane looks at the paper Daria has chosen)  
Jane: Congratulations your future husband is... meatloaf! (Daria stares blankly) Okay, okay, its Tom.  
Daria: (sarcastically) Tom/meatloaf, same thing right?  
Jane: I really want to make a comment to make you uneasy about him being a hunk of meat...loaf, but my Lane genes are kicking in. I'm sleepy. (she begins to leave) Coming?  
Daria: Nah I'm just gonna stay up for a while and think.  
Jane: You and your crazy contemporary ways.  
Daria:(sarcastically) Yeah thats me, crazy and modern.  
Jane: Just don't stay up too late sonny...er, daughtery (she leaves)  
(Daria lays her head in her hands. Quinn walks in admiring her nails.)  
Quinn: (sees Daria) Are you okay?  
Daria: (looks up and sighs) are you okay?  
Quinn: No, I'm not fishing this time. You were upset earlier and Jane walked in before I could ask how you were... again.  
Daria: Its nothing much, just guy problems.  
Quinn: (delighted) I'm great at guy problems!  
Daria: I'm really gonna regret this. Jane's brother...  
Quinn: Trent?  
Daria: Yeah, Trent... likes me.  
Quinn: (understanding) But you're dating Tom exclusively...  
Daria: right and...  
Quinn: You used to have a crush on Trent and now the sparks are flying again.  
Daria: how do I decide?  
Quinn: Well going exclusive so early was a rookie mistake, but then again I'm not the type of person you are.  
Daria: (scowling) Which is...  
Quinn: Oh no, Daria, I wish I was the kind of person you are (Daria looks confused) you make a meaningful relationships out of feelings of what society calls(makes finger quotes) "love" (Daria almost laughs at the use of finger quotes) instead of, you know, who can provide the best things for you. I'm kind of jealous.  
Daria: Really?  
Quinn: Yeah. You're like Rose and Jack on Titanic, I'm like Rose's mother. No wait I'm not old and wrinkly blegh! I'm more like that attractive young girl who dates the rich old guy. Ew double blegh. Ok I'm not in that movie but you are...  
Daria: So what do I do?  
Quinn: Huh? Oh yeah the Trent and Tom thing. Well you could make a pros and cons list but the characters of friends did that and the person that the list was about found it and saw all her flaws and got angry so they broke up anyway. (Daria looks puzzled) I think you should date them both, receive the perks and then dump one.  
Daria: I don't think so.  
Quinn: Right the whole not using them thing. Then I guess pros and cons list.  
Daria: Um... thanks.  
Quinn: Glad to help. Good luck! (she gets up, and leaves)  
  
(cut to the Gupty's house. The parents are watching TV when the phone rings. Mr. Gupty pick up)  
Mr. Gupty: hello?  
Doctor1: Mr. Gupty, we have been informed that the boys who we had thought had been the first to have the epidemic that's sweeping through Lawndale had been babysitting your children before they got the disease.  
Mr. Gupty: (gasp) You mean the boys who Quinn sent when she couldn't be here?  
Doctor1: How would I know? Anyway, I need your immediate family to come to the hospital to be sure that you're ok.  
Mr. Gupty: I don't think my kids should be leaving the house, they have chicken pox.  
Doctor1: Many of our patients seem like they have they chicken pox but it is much worse.  
Mr. Gupty: Oh dear.  
Doctor1: ...and who was that babysitter you were talking about?  
  
(cut to Daria walking into her room with Jane under her bed again)  
Daria: What're you looking for?  
Jane: Diary? (Daria scowls) Okay, I was looking for a picture of Tom  
Daria: Why?  
Jane: I thought it might help some.  
Daria: I don't have any  
Jane: Not even one of you together?  
Daria: No, I don't believe in pictures. When I'm older I want nothing to remind me of this time with.  
Jane: I don't know what you're talking about. You've got two guys pining away for you. I'd say you're doing pretty well for yourself.  
Daria: Shut up. (picks up a book) here.  
Jane: What?  
Daria: Journal (she pulls the books back and rips out a couple of pages. Jane gives her a questioning look. Daria explains) I was mad at you. I don't write anything good I only record the events.  
Jane: To remember this time with when you're older.  
Daria: (scowls) To remember certain things to help me with my writing and get me in that mood.  
Jane: In the mood eh? (raises an eyebrow and pretends to read the inside cover) "March 11th, had that Trent and Tom dream again only this time Trent had the whip." Daria?  
Daria: Bitch, it does not say that.  
Jane: (sarcastically) Gee, thanks for telling me. I didn't realize that I made that up.  
Daria: I was telling them (points at camera)  
Jane: oh  
Daria: (yawns) Turn off the light when you're done. (She takes off her glasses and goes to bed)  
  
(cut to Quinn watching some models walking down some catwalk somewhere on TV {like my detail?}Just then Doctor1 burst through the door to the house follows by men in white coats)  
Doctor1: (goes into the living room) Quinn Morgandorffer?  
Quinn: what?  
Doctor1: We get to drag you to the hospital. (He laughs evilly)  
Quinn: WHAT?!?! Why?  
Doctor1: Because you're very very sick. (He wipes some drool off his face and motions for the men to take her)  
Quinn: (as the men pick her up) Eww get your dirty hands off of me. Help!  
  
Jane: (in her head reading) "Today I saw a boy who saw dead people. Yes it was a movie. The writers twisted it around so that it had an ironic ending and the main dead person didn't seem to act like the other dead people. I think that little boy should get a job at a morgue so that no one will think he's crazy. He'll actually see dead people, unlike those hallucinations he's been having." (Jane yawns. Daria is lightly snoring) Heh (she leans over Daria) Who do you like better, Tom or Trent?  
Daria:(sleepily) Jane  
Jane: I know I'm beautiful but I'm not an option  
Daria: Don't ask my subconcious questions. (sits up) Did you read my cure for world hunger.  
Jane: No (Daria grabs the journal, flips through pages then hands it back) "Cure for World Hunger: Kill everyone, then there's no one to be hungry." (sarcastically)Aww so compassionate.  
Daria: (sarcastically) I try.  
Jane: Trent or Tom?  
Daria: I don't know! Quinn suggested that I make a pros and cons list.  
Jane: (Yawns) Tomorrow (jokingly) I need my beauty rest.  
Daria: I'll say.  
Jane: Fine be that way. Not all of us can take their best friend's boyfriend and brother's hearts.  
Daria: Who said you're my best friend?  
Jane: Ouch. (jokingly)Hey if you have a long lost brother then maybe I can date him.  
Daria: I could see it now.  
(screen fizzles to show a guy with Jake's face and Helen's color hair in the style of a mullet. He puts his arm around a pissed Jane who slaps him)  
Guy: ooh fiesty  
(cut to reality. Jane shudders)  
Quinn: (from downstarirs) Help! (Jane and Daria look out the window and see Quinn being taken away. Daria puts out her hand)  
Jane: I hate you (she hands Daria some money)  
  
(cut to morning Jane wakes up and sees Daria writing on two pieces of paper. She looks at the clock that says its 11:11)  
Jane: Did the thingy spread again?  
Daria: (not looking up) yep  
Jane: I hope this keeps up. I'm not looking foward to another O'Neill assignment. (pause) Whatcha doin'?  
Daria: (holds up one piece of paper) If I choose Tom pros and cons (holds up other piece of paper) If I choose Trent pros and cons.  
Jane: And you think this is going to work?  
Daria: Better than your "pick a hand" game  
Jane: Yeah... well... shut up. Pros and cons for Tom.  
Daria: Pro, He's already my boyfriend  
Jane: Con, He was my boyfriend.  
Daria: Are you still mad about that?  
Jane: Not really but its still a con. And whats with your pro that wasn't very good either.  
Daria: Well id I write one bad pro and one bad con it'll even out right?  
(Jane shrugs. Daria sighs)  
  
(cut to Quinn in the hospital sharing a room with the Gupty children who are sleeping. Jodie and Brittany are there again)  
Quinn: Why'd they drag me here? They could've simply told me to come in for observation and I would have.  
Brittany: You know doctors...  
Quinn:(after a long silence) That doesn't make sense.  
Brittany: You know, always trying to be dramatic.  
Jodie: We ought to find out what this disease is today anyway. Then you'll probably be able to leave.  
Quinn: I made plans to go shopping today!  
(Doctor2 walks into the room)  
Doctor2: How is everyone feeling?  
Brittany: I have a slight headache but otherwise I'm okay.  
Doctor2: And how are my patients  
Jodie: (points to the two children) Sleepy  
Quinn: I feel fine, can I go?  
Doctor2: Not yet I'm afraid.  
Quinn: Whatev (she pulls out Pride and Prejudice and begins reading)  
  
(cut to Daria and Jane walking down some street)  
Daria: Pro, I'm comfortable around Tom  
Jane: Con, you'll never be comfortable at my house again.  
Daria: I could live with that.  
Jane: Yeah right, you'll simply call my house at the one hour of the day that my brother is awake, he'll answer and you'll both get all freaked out that you'll end up hanging up before you get to talk to me. Then you'll try talking to me in person and he'll answer the door.  
Daria: Okay okay I get it. Its a valid con.  
Jane: Thank you. (They walk into the Pizza place)  
  
(cut to Stacey ringing the Morgandorffer doorbell. Jake answers the door)  
Stacey: Hello Mr. Morgandorffer, is Quinn home?  
Jake: (almost crying) No, they had to take her to the hospital.  
Stacey: Oh no is she alright?  
Jake: For now. (Helen walks up to a sobbing Jake and tries to comfort him)  
Helen: It's okay (to Stacey) What're you here for and why did you make my husband cry?  
Stacey: (nervously) I'm here for Quinn we were supposed to go to the mall together. And I didn't mean to make him cry honestly I just asked where Quinn was.  
Jake: Oh my poor Quinn!  
Stacey: (backs away) thanks anyway bye (She runs to her car and drives off)  
  
(cut to Daria and Jane eating Pizza)  
Daria: Why do we eat pizza here almost everyday?  
Jane: because its better than the pizza at the Chuck-E-Cheese?  
Daria: Thats not what I meant.  
Jane: I know. (pause) Pro, Tom is rich.  
Daria: I'm not writing that.  
Jane: Look at it this way. If you had money you could pay some kids to shovel snow onto your driveway. (Daria looks at her questioningly) Hey I'd want to do that. (Kevin and a bunch of his football buddies walk in wearing black)  
Daria: Maybe we should go somewhere else (Daria and Jane get up and leave)  
Kevin: Our team is going to have to forfeit because the three J's have the chicken pox. Today is a sad day in Lawndale.  
  
(cut to Stacey walking around the mall wearing all black)  
Stacey: Poor Quinn! I feel so guilty that she's sick and I'm not. Now I have no one to hang out with.  
Andrea: (as she's passing Stacey) wannabe  
Stacey: I'm the sole survivor of the fashion club! (she sobbs) Oh no my mascara! (she sees the movie theater runs up and buys a ticket. Then rushes into the theater) I hope its dark enough so that no one can see  
A woman: (hands Stacey a tissue) here wipe your eyes  
Stacey: oh no. (She takes a seat in the last row. Tom sits down next to her holding a huge tub of popcorn)  
Tom: What did I miss?  
Stacey: What?  
Tom: Did somone important die?  
Stacey: Not unless you count one of the extras as someone important.  
Tom: Did they explode?  
Stacey: Nope they were decapitated.  
Tom: And I missed it? (Stacey nodds) well thats the last time I buy popcorn during the movie. Want some?  
Stacey: (wrinkles her nose) no thanks I don't like popcorn  
Tom: How could you not like popcorn?  
Stacey: I almost choked to death on some as a child and I never ate it again.  
Tom: (holds out a handful) Are you sure you don't want to face your fears?  
(Stacey picks up a piece and sticks it in her mouth then she spits it out and it hits someone ahead of her. That person turns around then turns back.)  
Stacey: How much salt do they put on those things.  
Tom: Enough to kill a person I suppose. (a loud boom noise comes from the Movie) Now that's what I call an explosion. (Stacey smiles)  
  
(cut to Daria and Jane in a the cyber cafe thingy)  
Jane: Jeez theres hardly any pros for Trent. Can you think of anything else, pros or cons?  
Daria: (thinking) Con, he's really oblivious. Con, he sleeps most of the time. Con, his music sucks (out loud) Nope, I can't think of anything  
Jane: Well we have a winner. Tom has more pros and less cons than Trent.  
Daria: Are you sure?  
Jane: Yep, he won by a landslide. (pause) This doesn't have to be the deciding factor you know.  
Daria: I know, but Tom is the better choice.  
Jane: So you pick Tom?  
Daria: I'll tell you later (she walks away then trips but keeps walking)  
Jane: That's Daria's graceful exit.   
  
(cut to Jodie and Brittany at the hospital in their normal clothes)  
Brittany: Thank goodness this community service is over.  
Jodie: You said it.  
(The Police men from before run past the girls and bring back Doctor1 in handcuffs)  
Brittany: What's going on?  
Police man: He's being arrested for not being a real doctor er um something like that. (The police men drag Doctor1 away)  
Doctor2: (runs up to the girls) This disease is nothing but the chicken pox.  
Jodie: yeah...  
Doctor2: I need you to help me release these 52 patients that have been infected.  
Brittany: yeah right (Jodie and Brittany leave)  
  
(Cut to Quinn being hugged by her parents and trying to push them away)  
Quinn: Leave me alone. I'm going to my room. (she grabs the cordless phone)  
(in her room)  
Quinn: Hi Stacey, its Quinn. Turns out I'm not sick after all. Call me back k? bye. (she hangs up) Damn machine.  
Helen: (pops her head in the door)Quinn, you've been through such a terrible day is there anything I can do to help you.  
Quinn: (smirks) Well I could go shopping to cheer me up but I have no money.  
Helen: (scolding) Quinn...  
Quinn: Fine fine (her mom leaves. Quinn finds her Dad reading the newspaper) Hi Dad!  
Jake: Hey kiddo! (Quinn smiles)  
  
(cut to Daria talking to Tom)  
Daria: I have to tell you something  
Tom: What is it?  
Daria: (stuttering) I-I...  
Tom: Oh no  
Daria: I think we should break up   
(Tom looks relieved)  
Tom: Thank goodness.  
Daria: What?  
Tom: I thought you were gonna tell me that you love me. (Daria looks confused) I feel the same way. (They both smile)  
Daria: Don't you want an explaination?  
Tom: No, do you?  
Daria: Not really.  
Tom: Great. (pause) Any chance we could still be friends?  
Daria: Of course (They hug then quickly pull away) Is it just me or was that really cheesy?  
Tom: No that wasn't you, I was wicked corny.  
Daria: (smirks) wicked  
  
(cut To Daria and Trent talking outside the Lane house)  
Daria: I broke up with Tom for you (Trent smiles) So if ya know (she nervously plays with the bottom of her jacket) If you still like me...  
Trent: How could I not? (They kiss softly) Is it just me or was that really cheesy?  
Daria: I noticed it too.  
Trent: Are you sure? Maybe we should try again just to make sure.  
Daria: That was definitely even cheesier.  
(They kiss again more passionately this time)  
Old Guy (voice over): "Since the invention of the kiss there have been 5 kisses rated the most passionate, the most pure. This One left them all behind"  
Daria: Oh my cheese.  
Trent: Why do romances always have to end cheesily?  
Daria: By definition Romances are cheesy.  
Trent: If this is such a romance how come Jane doesn't have a life?  
Jane: (pops out of the bushes) I do to have a life.  
Trent: Then why are you spying on us?  
Jane: (trys to say a good comeback but thinks of nothing) You know the ending is way overdue.  
(Trent and Daria walk away from Jane.)  
Jane: Don't go! (sadly) I'm lonely (Her head drops. Her watch beeps) ohh my soap is on. (she rushes inside)  
Trent: Damn, Now I have a reason to get up in the morning. No more 20 hours of sleep a night.  
Daria: You'll live. (pause) 20 hours?  
Trent: Its an exageration.  
Daria: It is?  
Trent: I only sleep for 19... (He smiles at her. She blushes. The sun sets.)  
  
End Credits  
Okay I know it doesn't really go with the story but its a sweet song.   
  
I miss you by Incubus  
  
"To see you when I wake up is a gift   
I didn't think could be real.  
To know that you feel the same as I do  
is a three-fold Utopian dream.  
You do something to me  
that I can't explain.  
So would I be out of line   
if I said, 'I miss you.'"  
  
Yay.   
BTW the quote at the end said by the old guy is from the princess bride I DID NOT MAKE THAT UP! heh okay now its your job to review. Be terribly brutal so that I cry and give up on writing forever, kay? 


End file.
